Some ask why I’m allowing these funny poems to roam the internet at will, and the answer is simple. Like all good poems, they need an audience…and we’re glad you’ve applied for the job! So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and sample funny poems that range from silly to smart alecky, from tender to tongue-in-cheek. You’re sure to find something you like and go home with a smile. Need something funny for children specifically? Try the Children’s Poems category.(Just request permission by email and include full copyright information on all copies. For internet use, please link back to the poem on this site.)
FINDING THE POEM YOU WANT: As you scroll through this section, simply read each snippet sample (usually the first four lines) to get a feel for the poem. When you find something you like, click “CONTINUE READING” to view the entire poem.
My kitchen is perched between heaven and hell,
but it leans in the latter direction.
The dishes I’m cooking are don’t ask, don’t tell
with abstaining the only protection.
My favorite teacher told me in my youth:
“You’ll always be a leader; that’s your truth.”
This left me feeling special, even proud.
I’d often thought the same, though not out loud.
“Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and November.”
This I muttered to myself,
pulling pamphlets off the shelf.
You hold forth in your wisdom
as if truth began with you,
each argument refuted by
your “worthy” point of view.
Today’s too hot to bark or bite,
too warm to walk or wag.
I’m not inclined to chomp or chew.
(My jowls are on the sag.)
He said yes. She said no.
She said high. He said low.
He said dark. She said light.
She said wrong. He said right.
Has it really been a decade
since you were in my arms?
Ten years ago, I bid farewell
to you and all your charms.
It was no more than ninety-eight cents,
but giving it up made her tense.
She was found at the scene…
near the gumball machine.
Caught red-handed without a defense!
(Sticky fingers make strong evidence…)
∞§∞
Who doesn’t love reading a good limerick? Or writing one, for that matter? Sure ‘n we’ve all felt a little bit o’ the Irish in us at one time or another, eh? And this fun little form is one of my favorites when I’m in a playful mood.
By the way, the image posted above provided the fodder for my punny little poem, and I hope you enjoyed it!