Funny Poems

Some ask why I’m allowing these funny poems to roam the internet at will, and the answer is simple. Like all good poems, they need an audience…and we’re glad you’ve applied for the job! So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and sample funny poems that range from silly to smart alecky, from tender to tongue-in-cheek. You’re sure to find something you like and go home with a smile. Need something funny for children specifically? Try the Children’s Poems category.(Just request permission by email and include full copyright information on all copies. For internet use, please link back to the poem on this site.)

FINDING THE POEM YOU WANT: As you scroll through this section, simply read each snippet sample (usually the first four lines) to get a feel for the poem. When you find something you like, click “CONTINUE READING” to view the entire poem.

Don’t Speak Dutch to an Englishman

Written by Susan Noyes Anderson on April 7, 2015. Posted in Funny Poems, Life Lessons Poems

©2015 Susan Noyes Anderson

Don’t speak Dutch to an Englishman
to tell him how you feel.
Use words that he can understand
to show your love is real.

Don’t Sweat the Sweater

Written by Susan Noyes Anderson on April 25, 2014. Posted in Funny Poems, Love Poems

©2013 Susan Noyes Anderson

Don’t like my style?
Then run away.
Don’t shake your head.
Don’t have your say.

The Christmas Squirrel

Written by Susan Noyes Anderson on December 3, 2013. Posted in Christmas Poems, Funny Poems

©2012 Susan Noyes Anderson (poem only)

Photo by Robin Lyon on Unsplash

Beware the charming Christmas squirrel.
He gathers nuts and such.
His look is soft and fluffy, but
don’t trust the rogue too much.

In the Soup

Written by Susan Noyes Anderson on October 15, 2013. Posted in Funny Poems, Love Poems

©2013 Susan Noyes Anderson

Minestra – Italian Wedding Soup (on love and Italian cooking)

“Italian wedding soup,” she said.
It sounded such a treat.
I’d married her one year ago;
my bliss was quite complete.

Insomnia: Once Upon a Snore

Written by Susan Noyes Anderson on July 25, 2013. Posted in Funny Poems, Love Poems

©2013 Susan Noyes Anderson

I love you like the ocean’s roar.
In fact, I love you even more.
Yes, every stupifying snore.

I love the wind between your lips.
Your exhale doesn’t sigh; it rips.
(The breeze it blows could sink warships.)

Stone Cold Venus

Written by Susan Noyes Anderson on June 21, 2013. Posted in Funny Poems, General-Literary Poems

Image: Venus de Milo with Drawers by Salvador Dali

Greet the one all creation adores,
crowned the goad-ess of weddings and wars.
She is immortallized
as a feast for men’s eyes,
but she’ll not let them get in her drawers!