Some ask why I’m allowing these funny poems to roam the internet at will, and the answer is simple. Like all good poems, they need an audience…and we’re glad you’ve applied for the job! So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and sample funny poems that range from silly to smart alecky, from tender to tongue-in-cheek. You’re sure to find something you like and go home with a smile. Need something funny for children specifically? Try the Children’s Poems category.(Just request permission by email and include full copyright information on all copies. For internet use, please link back to the poem on this site.)
FINDING THE POEM YOU WANT: As you scroll through this section, simply read each snippet sample (usually the first four lines) to get a feel for the poem. When you find something you like, click “CONTINUE READING” to view the entire poem.
If you can keep your head and not lose favor,
When adolescence makes its grand debut;
If you can trust yourself to never waiver,
And always keep an optimistic view;
I’d like to say a word for weeds,
brave victims of mad plowers.
Why must their sturdy lives give way
to frail, elitist flowers?
A long-sleeved shirt again?
Oh, come on Mom, I just can’t take it.
I know that summer’s coming,
but I wonder if I’ll make it.
You’re growing old so gracefully,”
is what I’m often told.
Is that a compliment?
Should I be proud, or just consoled?
Oh, what a wonder is a sneeze.
You take in air and blow out breeze,
accompanied by gentle rain;
or you can blow a hurricane.
I’ve reached an agreement
with all of my peers.
Old ladies we’re not;
we are “women of years.”
I’d like to take back
all those words,
to tie them up
and down
with strong brown twine.
Take all yore shit and git clean off my land;
that hog I raised is better company.
At least he knows to let a feller be
and plays a sucker straight, not underhand.