Waiting Room Zoo
©1993 Susan Noyes Anderson
I’m in the doctor’s waiting room.
My mom is counting sheep.
The music they play here could put
an elephant to sleep.
Funny Poems
Some ask why I’m allowing these funny poems to roam the internet at will, and the answer is simple. Like all good poems, they need an audience…and we’re glad you’ve applied for the job! So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and sample funny poems that range from silly to smart alecky, from tender to tongue-in-cheek. You’re sure to find something you like and go home with a smile. Need something funny for children specifically? Try the Children’s Poems category.(Just request permission by email and include full copyright information on all copies. For internet use, please link back to the poem on this site.)
FINDING THE POEM YOU WANT: As you scroll through this section, simply read each snippet sample (usually the first four lines) to get a feel for the poem. When you find something you like, click “CONTINUE READING” to view the entire poem.
Rise and Shine – Not! (for teens)
©1997 Susan Noyes Anderson, At The End of Your Rope, There’s Hope, Deseret Book
Don’t wake me up.
Don’t pound my door.
I need more sleep.
I need much more.
Natural Disaster
©1981 by Susan Noyes Anderson
The house was resting on a slant
(perhaps a cracked foundation).
Inside a scene of chaos
and total devastation.
Why Me?
©1992 Susan Noyes Anderson
Of all the people
in the world
millions of guys
zillions of girls
of all the animals
there are
from Timbuktu
to Zanzibar
Dieter’s Lament
©1992, by Susan Noyes Anderson, Infinity Limited
They tell me
that I’m getting
thinner.
“Dwindling away to
nothing”
was the phrase.
Mid-Life Muddle
©1996 Susan Noyes Anderson, Age Happens, Meadowbrook Press
When we were young, you made me blush,
go hot and cold and turn to mush.
I still feel all these things, it’s true…
but is it menopause, or you?
A Note to My Irreverent Children
©2008 Susan Noyes Anderson
Count me as old as the mountains.
Count me as old as the trees.
But promise me you won’t start counting
rings around my knees!
Positive Affirmations
©1999 by Susan Noyes Anderson, Awaken Your Spiritual Power, Karisma Press
I’m good and kind and loyal,
except for when I’m not.
I’m friendly, and I’m willing,
if you don’t expect a lot.