Weather Retort
©1981 Susan Noyes Anderson
A long-sleeved shirt again?
Oh, come on Mom, I just can’t take it.
I know that summer’s coming,
but I wonder if I’ll make it.
Funny Poems
Some ask why I’m allowing these funny poems to roam the internet at will, and the answer is simple. Like all good poems, they need an audience…and we’re glad you’ve applied for the job! So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and sample funny poems that range from silly to smart alecky, from tender to tongue-in-cheek. You’re sure to find something you like and go home with a smile. Need something funny for children specifically? Try the Children’s Poems category.(Just request permission by email and include full copyright information on all copies. For internet use, please link back to the poem on this site.)
FINDING THE POEM YOU WANT: As you scroll through this section, simply read each snippet sample (usually the first four lines) to get a feel for the poem. When you find something you like, click “CONTINUE READING” to view the entire poem.
Growing Old Gracefully
©1997 by Susan Noyes Anderson
You’re growing old so gracefully,”
is what I’m often told.
Is that a compliment?
Should I be proud, or just consoled?
Bless You!
©1991 Susan Noyes Anderson
Oh, what a wonder is a sneeze.
You take in air and blow out breeze,
accompanied by gentle rain;
or you can blow a hurricane.
Euphemistically Speaking
©1997 Susan Noyes Anderson
I’ve reached an agreement
with all of my peers.
Old ladies we’re not;
we are “women of years.”
Wordslide!
©1997 Susan Noyes Anderson
I’d like to take back
all those words,
to tie them up
and down
with strong brown twine.
No Flies on Me
©1992 Susan Noyes Anderson
Take all yore shit and git clean off my land;
that hog I raised is better company.
At least he knows to let a feller be
and plays a sucker straight, not underhand.
Growing Pains
©1994 Susan Noyes Anderson, The Funny Side of Parenthood, Meadowbrook Press
My little boys are growing up.
The baby’s five-foot-three!
It’s great, but must they take such pride
in looking down on me?
The Caveat
©1995 Susan Noyes Anderson, For Better or For Worse, Meadowbrook Press
Opinions expressed by
the man in this house
should not be confused with
those held by his spouse.
Several years ago I came up with what I felt was a pretty fun and sassy saying, so I couldn’t resist making a little plaque of it to hang in my kitchen as a permanent display. The best part is that nearly everyone who enters my culinary domain makes a comment or observation about it, my husband included! (Thankfully, he is an awfully good sport with an excellent sense of humor.)