Smiles, Not Tears

©2022 Susan Noyes Anderson

image by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

I fill up notebooks with my pen
to mourn you, son…again…again.
The lasting loss, the hollow heart,
the ache of living far apart.

When sorrow beggars all belief,
I test the mettle of this grief.
Peruse the pain, count down the time,
seek reason in relentless rhyme.

Some days this gives me what I need.
Most days it only plants a seed
of hope, which seeds a shower of peace.
A welcome, yet too brief, release.

I would not leave the past behind;
it holds you present in my mind…
bright pictures of what used to be.
How can I shine their light in me?

Is there a lens I need to change?
A shutter speed to rearrange?
What aperture on past days blessed
opens to present happiness?

Your light, brought forward through the years,
should wash my soul in smiles, not tears.
Let every yearning memory
reflect the joy you are to me.
∞§∞

If this poem resonates with you, you may also relate to On Loss and Missing Pieces.

“[Grief is] an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love.
Scribbles and Crumbs

Related Poems:

The Heart Attack Wildfires Grief, the Bridge Shades of Gray