No Flies on Me
©1992 Susan Noyes Anderson
Take all yore shit and git clean off my land;
that hog I raised is better company.
At least he knows to let a feller be
and plays a sucker straight, not underhand.
Funny Poems
Some ask why I’m allowing these funny poems to roam the internet at will, and the answer is simple. Like all good poems, they need an audience…and we’re glad you’ve applied for the job! So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and sample funny poems that range from silly to smart alecky, from tender to tongue-in-cheek. You’re sure to find something you like and go home with a smile. Need something funny for children specifically? Try the Children’s Poems category.(Just request permission by email and include full copyright information on all copies. For internet use, please link back to the poem on this site.)
FINDING THE POEM YOU WANT: As you scroll through this section, simply read each snippet sample (usually the first four lines) to get a feel for the poem. When you find something you like, click “CONTINUE READING” to view the entire poem.
Growing Pains
©1994 Susan Noyes Anderson, The Funny Side of Parenthood, Meadowbrook Press
My little boys are growing up.
The baby’s five-foot-three!
It’s great, but must they take such pride
in looking down on me?
The Caveat
©1995 Susan Noyes Anderson, For Better or For Worse, Meadowbrook Press
Opinions expressed by
the man in this house
should not be confused with
those held by his spouse.
Several years ago I came up with what I felt was a pretty fun and sassy saying, so I couldn’t resist making a little plaque of it to hang in my kitchen as a permanent display. The best part is that nearly everyone who enters my culinary domain makes a comment or observation about it, my husband included! (Thankfully, he is an awfully good sport with an excellent sense of humor.)
No Big Deal
©1991 Susan Noyes Anderson
Okay, I kinda like you, but
it’s really no big deal.
Don’t think I’m feeling all that stuff
those crazy poets feel.
Sick of Sickness
©1982 Susan Noyes Anderson
The dirtiest word
I’ve ever heard is
“sickness.”
Pneumonia
is a menace,
that’s for sure.
Diagnose This!
©1993 Susan Noyes Anderson
You make my liver quiver
and my heartbeat change its pace.
You make my neck hairs shiver
and my brain waves lose their place.
Have I Told You Lately?
©1993 Susan Noyes Anderson
I love you in the morning, and
I love you in the night.
I love you when you’re next to me
and when you’re out of sight.
Tale of a Three-Year-Old Karin
©1981 Susan Noyes Anderson
She’s one of a kind.
She’s sheer delight
wrapped up in pure
frustration––
an open invitation
to go wacky
or be happy
with
confusion, chaos and intrusion
into your life’s order.