©2010 Susan Noyes Anderson (poem only)
“Pardon me,” said Tom T. Urkee,
“but I’d like to say a word.
Let me make this clear, not murky.
I’m a man and not a bird.
“Why must people be so jerky
when Thanksgiving rolls around?
They just look at me all smirky
and inquire ‘How much per pound?’
“Sure, I know I’m kinda quirky;
I’ll admit that I’m a geek,
but I’m not THAT kind of turkey.
I’ve a nose and not a beak.
I’m a dork from Albuquerque.
I can’t take this any more!
“Call me dweeb instead of turkey.
Call me doofus; call me drip.
Just don’t look at me all perky,
like you wanna take a nip.
“I am not THAT kind of turkey.
I’m a GUY, so shut your lip!”